Hakhel Reunion Journal '02

Some Personal Thoughts
on Hadar Hatorah
Rabbi Shais Taub

Chassidus speaks about the notion of the Jews, Torah and G-d all having a concealed dimension, a hidden quality rooted closer to the core. The hidden aspect of the Jew lies in the deeper levels of the essence of his soul. When he learns the hidden dimension of the Torah, which is Chassidus, it connects him to the hidden dimension of G-d, the G-dly Essence.

So too, Hadar Hatorah has its revealed quality - the world's first, oldest and most prestigious ba'al teshuva yeshiva in Lubavitch and the world. And there's the hidden Hadar Hatorah - that which perhaps only those of us who spent time here learning and growing can know.

Start with the faculty. I think it is pretty much common knowledge that Rabbi Goldberg is, kein ayin hara, a scholar the likes of which are nearly unparalleled. If you don't know, ask another talmid chochem and he will testify to this. Rabbi Goldberg lives with the Talmud and Shulchan Aruch and has the gift of transmitting this knowledge even to those who have scarcely just begun to taste Torah. But this is all the revealed Rabbi Goldberg.

Rabbi Goldberg is a true rav, a halachic authority, confident and familiar with all areas of Jewish law. It was not until years after leaving Hadar Hatorah that I realized that a normal rosh yeshiva is not necessarily versed in dealing with the practical law. Hadar Hatorah bochurim have a full-time rav in their midst, ready and equipped to answer the most complex, often peculiar questions whether in Kashrus or the annulment of vows. So too, is rare if not unheard of that one finds a normal rosh yeshiva called upon to give a shiur in chassidus. The curriculum of Rabbi Goldberg's chassidus class is open to students' requests. And no matter what maamar, however obscure, if the students find out about it and want to learn it, Rabbi Goldberg can teach it. Then, there's Rabbi Goldberg as a person. On the revealed level, Rabbi Goldberg has a razor sharp wit, he's never rattled by any situation and able to give an answer on the fly. He opens his mouth and effortlessly comes forth with wild puns in his fifth language. Rabbi Goldberg is just "cool." But this again is the revealed Rabbi Goldberg. How many of us realize that the same mind Rabbi Goldberg uses to field bizarre questions in the laws of muktza and to explain kabbalistic principles like yichud mah u'ban, is the same mind with which he connects to his students, their very real lives and all of the events of the world. Asking advice from Rabbi Goldberg is like having a CD-ROM of Torah in human form. I know first hand how I have at times taken Rabbi Goldberg's answers to be abrupt, even flippant, only to discover after the passage of time the wisdom and astute understanding which he condensed into just a few quick words.

When speaking about the mashpia of Hadar Hatorah, Rabbi Wircberg, I hesitate to reveal too much. I know that words of praise will only upset him. He is a picture of humility and self-abnegation and does not wish to hear anything good about himself. (I've tried to secretly thank him before but he will have nothing to do with it.) Instead, I will not speak about Rabbi Wircberg at all, but about myself and what I have tried to become through watching him: Answer a question as it's been asked, don't try to show off everything else you know. Weigh your responses carefully, choose your words and speak them calmly. Never try to win an argument. If you're on the right side, the truth speaks for itself. Don't think about yourself, think about the Rebbe. I will stop now. I've gotten myself in trouble already. "Thanks for the hesped," Rabbi Wircberg will say. I am sorry, Rabbi Wircberg. Yaakov Silberstein made me write this so I am placing the blame squarely on him.

Rabbi Yaakov Osdoba doesn't know it, but he taught me a lot more than Gemora and halacha. The revealed Rabbi Osdoba is a dedicated talmid chochem who sits in bais medrash ready to answer questions, any question, and go through the answer with a student one-on-one until it clicks. Rabbi Osdoba himself is a rav who answers sha'alos for the Beth Din of Crown Heights and shares his passion and reverence for the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch with his students. But Rabbi Osdoba has another purpose in yeshiva that should not be viewed as any less important or with any less respect. Rabbi Osdoba is a normal guy. As a student, I would approach Rabbi Osdoba about real-life issues. He always told us to do things the way the Torah wants, not to go crazy making up things to do. Rabbi Osdoba made us lighten up, and we would try to test his wit. I remember my brother - who is a bigger smart Alec than I am - found a picture of a shoe lying around in bais medrash. He brought it to Rabbi Osdoba and said, "I just touched this. Do I have to wash my hands?" Rabbi Osdoba thought for a half a second and answered without a smile, "No. But you should touch a picture of water." When I began the process of shiduchim, Rabbi Osdoba gave me advice. When I became a father, he gave me parenting tips. I hope I haven't let the cat out of the bag. Rabbi Osdoba knows about life.

This article would not be complete without speaking of the students of Hadar Hatorah. I know little about the forty years of young men who have been in and out of the doors of this yeshiva, but I do know my peers, my classmates, the guys that I studied with and lived with in my days here. And I see the students of today, not so much younger than myself. `rather well.

The revealed image of the students of Hadar Hatorah hardly paints the whole picture. We see young men who have chosen to dedicate their lives to Torah, Chasidus and our Rebbe. They are meticulously observant, G-d fearing young men - even if it at times it is unpolished and comes out in awkward and clumsy ways. You might think of a Hadar Hatorah bucher as a guy with a smashed-in, second-hand hat handed down to him by a shliach's son or, better yet, found in the "hefker pile." Yet, his talis katan is the nicest, biggest most expensive on the market, draped out amply in front and in back of him, hanging way down below his untucked shirttails (as tribute to his rosh yeshiva). But beyond the image, there is so much more - so much intensity and feeling and life. Every student in Hadar Hatorah has willingly and fearlessly undergone a massive change in life. His surroundings are new, his values are new, his friends are new. He has had to drastically re-invent himself and his major life goals. He has abandoned his comfort zones and makes a home on unfamiliar ground. Late at night, all by themselves, when the bais hamedrash lights are closed, what do you imagine the bucherim of Hadar Hatorah speak about? Even as they are starved for comfort and familiarity, they speak very little of their pasts and do not swap stories seeking to find common memories. They speak instead of the future, a future that they have just begun getting used to. They talk about their goals in learning, the chapters of Tanya they want to know by heart, how they are working on themselves to develop good character traits, what is the next yom tov and what they are doing to prepare for it, and they talk about Moshiach. How to really bring Moshiach.

One night in Hadar Hatorah - I think we were the only two people there - a fellow Hadar Hatorah student told me in no uncertain terms that he knew that we would be the very last class in Hadar Hatorah before the coming of Moshiach. He explained that when our group would elevate all of our sparks, perfect ourselves and be refined entirely, the Rebbe would reveal himself and we would go straight to Yerushalyaim. You think it sounds crazy, but he meant it with humility and sincerity and that's how I took it.

Time went on. Some classmates got married. New guys came in and filled their places. I met my wife. I moved out from the Hadar Hatorah dormitory and into an apartment on Crown Street. My friend who I mentioned also moved on and went to another city. A lot of us stayed here in Crown Heights, but we all went on with our own lives.

It happened one day as I was walking through Hadar Hatorah, I didn't see one person from my old group. They were all new guys. I remembered what my friend had told me and I trembled. Master of the Universe! We studied. We started families. We've moved on! Where is our righteous Moshiach! For all of our toil, our goal was never for a diploma or a graduation day, but for the Redemption of the Jewish people and the world. We made it through yeshiva, now You make good on Your part of the deal!